I took the Oxford Happiness Survey the instant I remembered that I had to do it and that was right after I listened to a really fun party song so I expected good results. As I took the survey, I found the level of my happiness health bar depleting when I felt like the questions were peering into my soul. It’s like it knew me and the questions just weirded me out and made me realize that I am definitely an unhappy person so I kind of anticipated a score below the average of a “happy” person.
I looked into my email once I finished taking the survey and as I predicted, I got a score of 3.2, which is obviously below the average score of 4. This made me sarcastically laugh at myself like, “Haha, that electronic survey says you’re such a sad loser and you probably have to get a life or something.” (I usually talk to myself in third person because I think it’s classy.)
That low score made me ponder on the really random and trivial matters I worry myself with like my physical appearance and how I think everyone else is better than me, which is kind of stupid because I diagnosed myself with superiority complex. I also felt upset in a way since I let a test judge my emotions and rate them with numbers. It made me want to go Ghetto and snap my fingers in a Z-formation and talk like a black woman in front of my computer.
When I realized that I bother with the trivialities of life, I weaved this survey experience to another activity I had in British Literature class where I was judged by tiny pieces of wood. But it’s not totally all about the judging that got me, instead it was what the piece of wood meant. The rune meant that I have to change the way I think or I’ll suffer a great emotional or financial loss. So, the survey just made me realize that I totally have to recognize my talents and actually appreciate the things I have and do so that I’d truly feel better about myself and avoid being like a typical Westernized teenager who has suicidal thoughts.
For some reason, the universe is rubbing in my face that I have to grow up, get inspired and give meaning to my own life to power up my will to live. Mister Universe might have heard from my friends that I keep saying that I’m going to have a really gruesome SAW-esque death when I turn 20 years old and he’s the one going Ghetto and telling me that I’m really retarded for thinking such things because life isn’t lived yet at that age.
Just by writing all this, I kind of learned that I actually can think such things. It’s like, when I write down everything going on in my life, I get to actually know what’s up with me and I’m really capable of picking up my own shit and moving on. So basically, this survey made me think a whole lot of things about how I should stop being an emotional flagellant.